Carnival Cruise Lines
Carnival Conquest Cruise Review
Western Caribbean

Andrew
Age: 42
Occupation: EMS Manager
Number of Cruises: 4
Sailing Date: June 25th, 2006

My wife and I have cruised Carnival's smaller ships (Jubilee and Elation) as well as R/C Rhapsody of the Seas. Conquest does some things better, some things not quite as well as the smaller ships.

EMBARKATION:
We live about 2 hours from Galveston and chose to come to the island and stay in a B&B the night before cruising. You can find a few options on the island that offer free cruise parking, which can be an asset. We stayed at The Garden Inn and can recommend it highly (note: No TV's or internet in guest rooms - bring a portable DVD player if that is an issue.) We also made dinner reservations at Rudy T & Paco's restaurant and enjoyed an absolutely amazing meal. With wine and dessert, figure on $100-$125 per couple.

We arrived at the cruise terminal about 9:30AM with the idea of beating the lines, but that does not work. We were allowed to offload our bags to the porters, but Port Security would not allow us to enter the terminal until 11:00AM. After piddling around the island a while I dropped my wife off at the terminal and parked our truck in the B&B reserved lot about 2 blocks away, walked back. Amazingly enough, allot of people were already there (apparently we had the only Port Security guy concerned about early arrival). To get on your ship, you first stand in one line - similar to amusement park ride lines - to get through the metal detector; then you get to go around the corner and stand in another amusement-park line. You WILL save time if you complete all of the pre-registration stuff online at Carnival.com before you show up. Have all of the documents signed, passports ready, etc. After you get through all this you will be issued your 'Sail & Sign' Card which functions as your gangway pass (on AND off) as well as your onboard credit card for virtually everything you can buy on the ship. You will have the option to back the S&S card with a major credit card (easiest) or you can put a cash deposit down with the purser's office onboard the ship (long lines, pain in the butt). After jumping through these relatively minor hoops, you board your ship and can either go to your stateroom, go eat, go lounge on deck, whatever.
Bottom line: Typical.

LIFEBOAT DRILL:
Depending on when you get aboard, our advice is to get a light bite to eat at the buffet then go to your stateroom. All cruise ships are required to have a lifeboat drill. You will find lifejackets in your cabin, and your assigned muster station is on the back of your cabin door. We have always found it easier to beat the rush and get to the muster station a bit early. On this cruise, they did not turn off the elevators which made it a bit easier.
Bottom line: Typical

CARNIVAL CAPERS:
The Capers is the onboard ship newspaper with all of the day's events listed by time. Tip of the day: pack a highlighter so you can map out what you absolutely don't want to miss. These are delivered to your cabin the night before. Also pick up a Deck Plan from the Purser's Desk on Deck 3 until you find your way around.
Bottom line: Typical.

DINING:
Dining is a big part of the cruise experience for us. We had the 8pm seating in the Monet dining room. Surprisingly (good) we had a table for two - a bit small, but we enjoyed it better than being crammed in with eight other people. The dining room waiter and assistant waiter were exceptional, and the Maitre D' made a visit by each evening to be sure we were happy. The Restaurant Cezanne is the Lido deck buffet style restaurant where we ate most of our lunches. Food here was only so-so. Conquest has a 24-hr Pizzeria which was not nearly as good as the pizza on the Elation. The Sky Grille did have some very good hamburgers and fries, however. We did not try The Pointe.
Bottom line: Plus.

STATEROOM:
We had an ocean view with balcony on Deck 8. This was the best cabin we have had on any cruise ship, period. Plenty of room for two people, plenty of storage. Showers are a little cramped, but better than Royal Caribbean's. The balcony was a great place to sit and relax. Bear in mind that the balconies are only separated by a partition, so you can easily hear conversation and, well, other noises, from neighboring balconies. Also, Deck 8 is immediately below the main pool area and you can hear thumping, scraping, etc as people jump up and down on the deck. All in all, however, the stateroom was a major improvement over all of our other cruises.
Bottom Line: Plus.

SHOWS/ENTERTAINMENT:
There is more to do that you can ever get around to doing. We did see the signature show in the main lounge, "Formidable" (say it in French - for mid DAH bluh), and rate it about a 7 on the Show-O-Meter. Maybe we sat too close, but we could see some holes in the dancers stockings and one actually had the sole flopping off the bottom of her shoe. The female lead singer was way too nasal, and the male was way too show-tune. I think they've peaked. The comedy shows were good, even though we don't routinely stay up that late for the midnight R-rated show. One clinker: an illusionist called 'Deja' was the headliner after leaving Montego Bay. The cruise director billed her as having 'flown in from Las Vegas' for the show, which is hogwash because looking at other reviews this seems to be a standard booking for her. Also, judging from the caliber of her show if she is playing anywhere in Vegas it is the bus station. Horrible. Do yourself a favor, if you are thinking about taking the time to see 'Deja' find a maintenance closet and slap yourself in the groin with a hammer. Then go watch karaoke. Most of the rest is traditional cruise-ship: Newlywed Game, Guest Talent Show, Hairy Chest, Survivor, so on. We've seen all these on every other ship but since the guests are different it is always fun to watch.
Bottom line: Average.

ONBOARD SHOPS:
Expensive. The only bargain here is the duty-free liquor. Even when they have their special sales, the merchandise can still be bought for that price stateside. Don't get caught up in the hype.
Bottom line: Average.

PORTS OF CALL:
Your 'Super Shopper' is going to be having talks the day before each port as to which shops are 'recommended.' Understand that these stores have paid Carnival a fee to be 'recommended' and these recommendations are NOT based on any special value you might get. If you are all starry-eyed about the great deals you are going to find on everything from silver to hammocks, prepare for sticker shock.

Montego Bay, Jamaica -
We did the Appleton Rum Estate tour. This does involve about a 1 1/2 hour bus ride from Montego Bay, so if you are in ANY way susceptible to motion sickness PLEASE take something before you leave. Roads in the Jamaican mountain country are narrow, poorly maintained, and go up-down-right-left-180degree-back again worse than most theme park roller coasters. Once we got there, though, we went on a very informative tour of a working rum distillery and were treated to a nice Jamaican lunch and an OPEN BAR. Prices on rum to purchase were very reasonable as well.

Georgetown, Grand Cayman -
You will NOT find any bargains here. The "Super Shopper" will tell you there are, but there simply are not. Well, not true. You can find DECENT prices on new Rolex or Omega watches at Kirk Freeport. DO NOT plan on eating in a restaurant here, it is ungodly expensive. Go snorkeling, take advantage of the gorgeous beaches, but save your trinket money for somewhere else and eat on the ship.

COZUMEL, Mexico -
Again, same as above on 'recommended shops.' Please understand that silver is not mined on Cozumel. It is imported, marked up, and sold to tourists. It is also faked, and a stamp of '.925' does not mean its actually sterling. Use your head, if it is too good to be true.... you know. We did the Mexican Cuisine tour at the Playa Mia Beach Park. Great fun and a great lunch.

All in all, we had a great vacation. The Conquest is a well done mega-liner, it sails well, and takes the average cruise-ship experience up just a small notch. My advice is to sail in April, as this June sailing was flat eat-up with teenagers thugging around the decks. Good choice for families, couples looking for an upscale romantic vacation should look elsewhere.



 

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