Andy
Age: 46
Occupation: Professional
Number of Cruises: 4
Sailing Date: June 24th, 2006
HIGHLIGHTS: Here’s what you really need to
know, IMHO:
The Camp Carnival girls who take care of kids ages 2 through 14 are great,
talented, qualified and fun. Wendy and Gladys were who I dealt with most and
they are first rate human beings who love kids. You can trust them with your
kids and the kids will have a good time. This will allow you adults to sneak off
to your room or the 12th deck sundeck (aka the “booty deck”) for some R & R.
Babysitting is available (free before 10 p.m. and $6 hour after) till 3 a.m.
If you drink a lot, bring your own liquor. If it won’t kill you to spend $5 - $6
for a beer or glass of wine, man up and pay at the bar.
Bring walkie-talkies. They’re a great convenience when you split up, and are
very reassuring if you have a child.
If your teenager is missing in the evening he or she is probably making out with
their summer romance on the bow in the area of deck 9 or 10 or the promenade
deck aft; at least they were when I tried to go up there for some midnight yoga.
I found deck 11, the topless deck (a/k/a “booty deck”) at the smokestack,
deserted at that time in case mom and dad need some private space.
In Grand Cayman, unless you dive, there is very little to see or do IMHO but the
locals were VERY friendly. However the beaches were beautiful. Our take was we’d
rather go there than the Bahamas. Others I spoke to said the scuba dive to “the
wall” was an awe inspiring experience. Most of the people on the ship I talked
to went to “Stingray City” which is a wading/snorkeling experience.
I strongly suggest NOT taking the Carnival-organized excursions. Generally, you
can book a comparable experience on the dock for half the price by negotiating
with the locals.
In Grand Cayman, when we got off the boat, we literally saw one row of hawkers
offering tours for $40, followed immediately – like 5 feet -- behind them by a
second row offering the same for $20. We hooked up with 2 other couples from the
ship on the spur of the moment and negotiated for a van tour for two hours for
$20 per person. I believe the Carnival excursion rate was about 3x that.
We recommend looking for Ursula (pronounced UrSOOLa), who is hard to miss as a
68 year old Scottish-Jamaican lady who’s a lifelong native and will drive you
around in her van and give you the local’s version of the tour. Of course,
she’ll take you to the stores her friends own, but that’s how life in the
islands works.
The lesson of this story, and what you should apply to your cruise experience,
is a lesson in monopoly economics: when you’re on the ship, you’re dealing with
1) a monopoly seller that can set the price, and 2) an information monopoly.
Nobody is going to volunteer you the info that you can get the same experience
on shore for half what Carnival will charge. This is not a knock on Carnival –
that’s just smart business, just like they do at a resort, hotel, or airport.
Set up in a place where there’s no competition and charge accordingly. Carnival
could probably charge 50% more for drinks and photos and get it, in fairness to
them. It’s no coincidence that internet access is 37 cents a minute on the ship
because it makes it uneconomic to shop for prices online. It’s up to you to be a
smart consumer and 1) take the good deals for the list price of the cruise you
can find online and 2) if there are things like liquor, souvenirs, good coffee,
and shore excursions that you must ABSOLUTELY have, either be prepared to pay
the premium or be prepared to make other arrangements.
From my perspective, going to the pier and meeting a local taxi driver to
negotiate your own itinerary for what YOU want to see is part of the fun. I
strongly encourage others to do the same and see the real world.
On that point: In Calica, Mexico, you MUST get ground transportation to see
something else because there is NOTHING in Calica except a concrete aggregate
loading facility, a dozen flea market grade junk stands, $2 coca colas, no
breeze, and every tour bus in Quintana Roo (when the ship arrives). Oh, and a
taxi kiosk/hack stand which functions as the information and transport exchange.
Again, go to the hack stand and take your chances. The taxi stand manager was
very friendly and helpful and again will direct you to beaches and attractions
he’s getting a commission for, but his commission and your price will be
significantly less than the onboard excursion price.
We strongly recommend Fernando Hernandez’s van service (snake-pirat@hotmail.com
or tel. (044)984-114 5193. Don’t let the scary e mail address fool you; he is a
very pleasant and quiet young man who took our group of 7 to Tulum and to the
beach in his van for basically $25 per person for 4 hours of use of his van and
driver, plus $10/hour per extra hour (we tipped him an extra $30). If this
sounds like a lot, the Carnival package price was $90 per person (for the
transportation component, $60). Fernando sat around and waited patiently while
we cavorted and kept the AC in the van maxed out for us. He drove us to Tulum
where we (my wife) also negotiated a guide (Miguel) for 45 minutes, trolley
tickets, and entry for $14 per person. So our group of 6 adults and a child
would have paid $630 total at the Carnival rate for this package, vs $ 350 ( $50
per person for a full day, including snorkel gear, but ex lunch drinks and tip)
at the “get off the boat and talk to a human being nicely” rate. (The kicker
would have been Xel-ha, included in the carnival package, which is now a $35
entry instead of $25 in 2004. That would have brought the cost in just a little
south of the $90 carnival rate)
·Where to go if you draw the Calica port of call instead of Cancun or Cozumel?
If you MUST get yet another Hard Rock T shirt or throw up at Senor Frogs, fine,
go to Cancun. You will miss the best of the Riviera Maya, and, you too, like our
dinner companions, can spend $78 on 2 steak fajitas, two tequila shots, a kids
meal and a soft drink.
On the other hand, if you want to go to a place which looks like it came out of
the Corona commercial – the one where the guy’s cell phone rings and he skips it
across the lagoon like a stone – have a taxi driver take you to Paa Mul, about
10 minutes south of the port.
Like nirvana, neither words nor pictures can describe Paa Mul. The calm and the
blue simply wash over you and change your mind and your life. Be careful – one
of the locals is selling his palapa for $75,000 and you may just buy it an never
come back. Paa Mul is that place you dream that you’re going to find when you go
to the Keys or the Bahamas but instead you end up in a condo. Paa Mul is the
real thing. You can go to a Hard Rock anywhere (and everywhere) and see the same
damn thing. Paa Mul you may only see once in a lifetime.
It's listed in Frommer's but I missed it -- no bullet and none of the attention
it deserves. Perhaps the authors didn't want the crowds to spoil it. So enjoy it
but respect it.
Have lunch at an open air palapa restaurant (we spent $38 with tip on some
awesome fajitas for 2, beers, and flan)The owner is Brazilian, which may explain
the laid back attitude -- no warranties, but we saw a young woman topless and a
couple of young gay Mexican men caressing on the beach and nobody seemed to
care, so I guess this is an unofficial topless/gay friendly locale
Snorkel off the beach into a blue green lagoon for $9 to rent your gear from
Scubamex (www.scubamex.com) right on the beach, and they have a dive boat too.
The owner is an American doctor who did a Billy Clyde in the 80s, built his
place on the beach and never came back. Nice guy and super qualified in all
areas of diving. He's mixed gas certified so he can probably get you hard core
divers into as much trouble as you can stand. However the lagoon is perfect for
little kids and newbies. My water-fearing wife and companions and my 8 year old
kid paddled 25 yards offshore, well within the protected area of the lagoon, and
saw lots of fish, coral, and sea urchins in 5-6 feet of water.
It’s a quick 50 mile trip to Tulum, the Mayan ruins of a late postclassical Maya
town. The ruins are said not to be such a great archeological treasure by
knowledgeable Mayanists. However, they may be the only Mayan ruins you and your
kids ever get to see, so spend the damn $14 on the educational experience
(admission, guide and tram ride to the ruins, which tram ride is a must if you
expect to survive the heat). Visually, the site is spectacular – ruins
overlooking the kind of cliffs and blue water that bring to mind Acapulco. The
first touch of the cool ocean breeze as you advance from the suffocating
tropical heat inland toward the ocean cliffs is one of those experiences you
wish you could keep in a bottle and bring home. There is a public beach at the
site as well. Entry without a guide is $4 -- cheap --plus 1.50 for the essential
tram ticket. In addition your kids will get to chase iguanas the size of small
dogs and you’ll get great pictures of this.
Recommended but not personally -- I didn’t get to see them. These looked
interesting according to Frommer’s or our local sources. They are all within the
50 mile corridor south of Puerto Calica on Mex Route 307 (the U.S. 1 of the
Riviera Maya) and an easy cab ride:
Xel-ha ecopark – snorkeling, tubing down a tropical river. Took more time than
we had and the price is up to $35. But I’m going back for this!
Hidden Worlds Cenote – a cenote and cave exploration experience with snorkeling
– featured in an IMAX film we saw at the Orlando Science Center
Akumal caves – cave exploration and zoo
Bahias de Punto Soliman/Oscar and Lalo’s restaurant – more restaurant on the
beach/snorkeling/ water sports/lazing on the beach. Said not to be as beautiful
as Paa Mul but quien sabe?
YOUR NEIGHBORS ON THE CRUISE: WHERE DID THEY FIND THESE PEOPLE? If you are an
introvert or elitist (and I definitely am both) with a low tolerance for people
“not of your caliber” (I’m not), this is not the experience for you. You will
spend time, possibly stuck at dinner for an hour and a half, with people of a
different social classes and cultures, whose choices, child rearing philosophy,
politics, wardrobe, opinions and behaviors you may find completely unacceptable
and distasteful. (The five little girls aged 4 through 10 being pushed by their
mom to sing “Baby Got Back” on karaoke night left us wondering how they managed
to fit a trailer on the lido deck, and how to call the international maritime
version of HRS). Back in the day we called the skills to deal with this
gracefully and without rancor “good manners”. The Buddha would tell you, deal
with it, learn to accept, and smile. If you’re not up for this character
building experience, then cruising may not be for you. However, we also have met
great people on these cruises, who were very different from us but who we grew
wiser or better from meeting, or just plain had fun with. The encounters with
these great folks make these trips more than just a vacation. A cruise is a
continuing social interaction.
I would definitely do this cruise again, for all of the above reasons, including
the little challenges that are really growth opportunities.
Wow, that was 3 pages of highlights mostly about the destinations. About the
shipboard experience
OVERALL EVALUATION: This is not a 5 star experience; it’s more like a three and
a half star, but you definitely get your money’s worth if you choose wisely.
It’s not fair to call Carnival a “budget” or “discount” line because the look
and feel is much better than “budget”; however it is a low cost provider and
it’s not the Ritz either. Maybe “McShip” is the right idea. However it is more
than adequate as a family vacation experience. For that matter, the previous
Carnival cruise was definitely an all-adult experience (a number of, ahem,
alternative lifestyle travel groups were in attendance and we definitely got a
few eyefuls, but those groups had an equally fantastic kid free time).
I’m not shilling for Carnival – God knows I can come up with a list of things
that could use some attention -- but I read some of the reviews of this ship
from 2006 and was puzzled by the expectations and criticisms of those who
expressed disappointment. Frankly they sounded like people who would be unhappy
anywhere. Whether you like this cruise experience depends on your attitude.
Standing in lines is a fact of life, not a management failure. Stick to the
philosophy of not lining up until the LAST call, and you can avoid this. In fact
our asst cruise director, Ryan, on exit specifically announced that there was 25
MINUTE WAIT TO DEBARK SO WHY NO JUST HANG OUT ON THE LIDO DECK TILL THE CROWD
THINS OUT?
First, the ship and crew: the ship is clean, glitzy, a little Vegasy, which is
not my style but is a nice change from sitting at home or in a sterile airport.
The staterooms are small but adequate to the purpose. Our group was my wife and
me and our 8 year old boy. We booked last minute on VacationsToGo.com and got an
outside cabin, Riviera (low) deck, with a very comfy queen bed, plus a “really
cool” Pullman bed that came out of the wall which my little guy considered to be
one of the “rides” on the ship. He also loved his daily “towel animals” made by
the steward.
This was my second Carnival cruise. You will not find a staff which is more
attentive or friendly. However the cruise director does make a difference. On
this cruise the lounge singer was actually bad, and the comedian not funny when
working “clean”. I’m assuming that’s a cruise director decision. I also found
her announcements to be a little pushy and brassy and driven toward selling
jewelry.
The Food: Imagine Iron Chef on a budget, plus always a “safe” choice.
Breakfast: The breakfast pastry is ok, the omelets good. The rest indifferent.
The free coffee is ok (weak American stuff but better than Mickey D’s) but the
coffee in the pseudo-Starbucks is worth the $2.50 premium.
Lunch: The buffet by the pool has kid food (burgers and dogs), something exotic
(Indian, Caribbean) plus something mainstream (round of beef, turkey, pork
roast). I made myself try something new every day and always found something I
liked.
Dinner: The dining room aspires to and shoots for haute cuisine, but face it,
they’re cooking 2,000 dinners on a budget. Nothing was four star, but nothing
was less than “not bad”. The presentation and service, however, are first rate.
I can’t get beef Wellington, baked Alaska, Etouffe of prawns, or Grand Marnier
soufflé at home, so unlike some of the other critics here, I’m not gonna'
complain while my mouth is full.
Getting Around on the Ship: The signage is abominable. Way too many people keep
wandering around saying they’re lost. This, I think, is a corporate failure by
carnival. If it was by design at least the signs would route you past the
casino. Carry your map and make notes or leave a trail of crumbs. Never mind the
crumbs, the staff would be right behind you cleaning them up. Try to remember
that you can’t go “through” from front to back on deck 8 and you should be ok.
In short, a bad day on a cruise ship is better than a good day at work. IMHO
it’s better than a good day at most vacation locations because I don’t have to
cook, worry about where to eat, drive, or pay a cover charge. I can disco, drink
and people watch all night and walk or if necessary fall home. I can sun my buns
on the booty deck and take in the natural and plastic sights. I can meditate
under the stars at midnight in the ocean breeze in the middle of the ocean. I
can smoke a cigar on the fantail and catch a great sunset just about every
night.